The train slowly starts moving- she is standing at the platform- she is confused- her mind wanting to board the train- her heart asking her not to- her feet start moving in unison with the train- her hands refuse to get a hold of the door- she turns around- starts running backward- running away from fate- running away from making a choice- she was afraid- afraid of her own actions- afraid of her own stance- afraid of her own innocence.
She runs out of the platform- checks herself- stops herself- composes herself. Her heart is beating faster than the rhythmic sound the train is making on the track- much faster- she turns around again- sees the fading light from the backend of the train- she starts running again- her feet are running faster than the rhythmic sound the train is making on the track- much faster- somewhere in distance a voice is echoing- she ups her speed- a pleading voice- she is almost at the train’s trail- an insistent appeal- the train picks up the speed too- an incessant guilt- she is running out of breath- she wishes she does-
The train wins- she loses- guilt wins- pledge loses- destiny wins- fate loses-
She falls- nobody is there to pick her up- life is sucked out of her or so it seems- for a moment she lies as motionless as a thousand year old rock at the bottom of dead sea- dead sea- movement- eyes open- a shadow falls- another movement- eyes close- dogs bark- humans wailing- humans bark- dogs wail- silence- agony- anguish- fear-
Truth hurts- but telling the truth to someone you love hurts more- it hurts- it hurts- for once she wished she was a mute- for once she wished she was deaf- for once she wished she was blind- for once she wished she’d died- familiar voice- husky voice- her husband’s voice:
“Where’s our kid?”
“Where’s our son, Baby?”
Silence.
“Where is our Shumail, Shazre?”
Tears. Tears of guilt? Tears of remorse? Tears of pain?
“Where the hell is our kid?”
Movement. Eyelids are closed. For one last time.
Dogs bark- humans wail-
Destiny wins- Fate loses.
Author’s Note:
She came to the station to tie her two year old son to the track. She couldn’t muster up the courage to do the unthinkable. Instead she ended up putting him on the train to a land far far away. Her crippled husband was the last person to see her close her eyes forever. They couldn’t afford to feed their son.
