Someone wrote to me: Being numb is fun.
I never cerebrated in my entire life that I would come across another mortal who shares the same impressions about being numb. But then what is it about numbness that is so exceptional and peculiar? To be veracious I don’t know and I really don’t want to know, because for me it means felicity- it means delectation- it means self indulgence- and it means finding peace within me. Life is short and we have ranges to cross, obligations to fulfill, responsibilities to carry out and vaults to overcome, but why is that one never finds ataraxis in any of these things.
For me peace and calm within myself is- when I am befuddled within I- when nothing seems to really matter for me- when iniquity prevails around my body- but then even when its so gloomy outside why do I feel that I am not in absolute darkness anymore? Why do I feel as if there are millions of 1000 watts bulbs beaming inside of me? I don’t know- I really don’t know. Because the world can go to hell for all that I care.
Completely incomplete, yes that’s what I feel when I come out of this self created mold- the mold that allows me complete freedom- the mold that gives me the true ecstasy of life- the mold that provides me with the true delineation of my own self- the mold that gives me the opportunity to dream. Yes, dreams, I do believe in them. But then, how do we know what is real and what is a dream, a conjuration and a fantasy? How do we know that the life we are living is not a dream? Yes you guessed right, I really don’t know.
For billions of people around the world, reality is this world. But for me reality is much bigger than this world, its about getting to know yourself in the context of this world- this universe- but let me clarify here. We human beings have this nature of adapting to most rugged circumstances, but why is it that we cry over an infinitesimal affair, we recede our heart at one failure? Why? For me it is because I believe there is a soul deep down all of us- a soul that keeps on reminding us that we are mortal after all. But then it’s not all, is it? Life is bigger than you, me, our soul or this world for that matter.
So, why go into this complexity? Why not save these moments to ourselves? To realize what we really are- to be lost in our own mind- to be numb to everything around us- to let our senses rest for a moment. For me this is fun, and if being numb provides me that, I agree, being numb IS fun.
I never cerebrated in my entire life that I would come across another mortal who shares the same impressions about being numb. But then what is it about numbness that is so exceptional and peculiar? To be veracious I don’t know and I really don’t want to know, because for me it means felicity- it means delectation- it means self indulgence- and it means finding peace within me. Life is short and we have ranges to cross, obligations to fulfill, responsibilities to carry out and vaults to overcome, but why is that one never finds ataraxis in any of these things.
For me peace and calm within myself is- when I am befuddled within I- when nothing seems to really matter for me- when iniquity prevails around my body- but then even when its so gloomy outside why do I feel that I am not in absolute darkness anymore? Why do I feel as if there are millions of 1000 watts bulbs beaming inside of me? I don’t know- I really don’t know. Because the world can go to hell for all that I care.
Completely incomplete, yes that’s what I feel when I come out of this self created mold- the mold that allows me complete freedom- the mold that gives me the true ecstasy of life- the mold that provides me with the true delineation of my own self- the mold that gives me the opportunity to dream. Yes, dreams, I do believe in them. But then, how do we know what is real and what is a dream, a conjuration and a fantasy? How do we know that the life we are living is not a dream? Yes you guessed right, I really don’t know.
For billions of people around the world, reality is this world. But for me reality is much bigger than this world, its about getting to know yourself in the context of this world- this universe- but let me clarify here. We human beings have this nature of adapting to most rugged circumstances, but why is it that we cry over an infinitesimal affair, we recede our heart at one failure? Why? For me it is because I believe there is a soul deep down all of us- a soul that keeps on reminding us that we are mortal after all. But then it’s not all, is it? Life is bigger than you, me, our soul or this world for that matter.
So, why go into this complexity? Why not save these moments to ourselves? To realize what we really are- to be lost in our own mind- to be numb to everything around us- to let our senses rest for a moment. For me this is fun, and if being numb provides me that, I agree, being numb IS fun.
