Duality...

Heaven would have been proud of what he had achieved- the verve- the passion- the commitment- he had showed was certainly the sign of things to come. To assume that this world would ever produce a creature like him would have been the grotesque mistake on anyone’s part. But he was not elated- nor was he excited- he was just going through the motions- the life of uncertainty- a life of shadows and memoirs- a collection of wishes and desires- for he had been an eloquent preacher of procrastination. Was he a mechanical machine? He wondered at times yet could not find the answers to his queries.

Then came the biggest realization of his life- realization of the hypocrisies- realization of the dual faces- realization of dual standards- an unintended conspiracy that he was a blatant part of. Like an earthquake that jolts the very foundations of even high rise buildings, it hit him hard- so hard that it shoved his very basic beliefs, norms and values of life. The expression on his face could have been exchanged for a terrified child standing on a rail line facing an oncoming train- yet somewhere deep inside him, he knew he had achieved what they could not. It all started with a whisper- a shallow whisper that surrounded him-

“They think I have lost it. What do they think of themselves huh? I can do what anyone cannot. I will show them that they are wrong. I will come back again” He was talking to himself after being overlooked for a presidential award for excellence in science due to him being a schizophrenic. That’s when the whisper started…

“They don’t exist…”

“Really?” He asked.

“Yes. They don’t really exist. It is you who has derived the concept of they and them inspired by the people around you.” The whisper would not go away.

“Go away… They have not given me a Nobel Prize for nothing. They think that my work is my own imagination, not something inspired by someone else. It’s just that they think that I see people who are not real but I will prove them wrong.” He retorted.

“See. That’s what I am talking about. They did this- they did that. Have you ever wondered what are you without them? What are you without taking yourself in the context of this world? What have you achieved for yourself rather than doing something to improve the way you are looked and perceived by others? Life is not only about they or them my friend! There is more to life than that. You say that they think you see people who are not real; have you ever wondered how unreal you are yourself.” It had started to get on his nerves now.

“It may be true that I have overlooked myself as an individual in an effort to fulfill others’ expectation of me.” He tried to control his emotions. “Yet there is a catch there sucker! which people like you don’t get. If I ignore they or them in pursuit of quest for my own inner satisfaction, it would be impossible to survive in this world. What I am facing here is a dilemma. Do you get that now?”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah. You are the one who is right- you think that you have every right to judge what to do for yourself. Unfortunately you are wrong. God did not make you the way you are upon your own discretion dude. Life moves on- days go by- months never stop passing- yet you are wasting yourself… look around you- how many people have benefited from your prestigious little Nobel Prize- How many? You don’t have the answer. Do you? I’ll tell you how many. No one has benefited from your Prize more than your ego and your pride. It has put you at a place where you have started to imagine that you are above people- but listen… do you really think you are better than all those people who suffer everyday? Are you better than a cobbler? Are you better than an ordinary clerk? Are you better than a peasant? Your ego has gone up so high that someday you are going to crash on your head and when you do, you’ll realize what was the biggest mistake of your life. You have wasted yourself at managing your impressions on other people, while as a person in yourself you have completely lost the race. As a person you have disappointed your conscience- you have taken every little hope that it had away from it. You have outrun yourself my friend!” and the whisper faded away.

He looked awe-inspired now. For the first time in his life, he actually believed that he was a schizophrenic yet he couldn’t have asked for a better realization.