Sixth Sense

The candle sitting right next to the window was fluttering like a flag in the brisk breeze near the sea. That was not the only thing- Everything seemed to be moving impatiently: the shadows on the wall, the door, the windows, He himself. Was it an earth quake? Were the tremors real? Or were they coming from within? He did not know. He sat there- motionless- yet his shadows were moving. Why? He wasn’t in motion? Why were his shadows moving then? Yes, he was shivering okay… But that was that. Nothing more than that- Shadows don’t magnify those shivering movements. Do they? Then why-

He did not have those answers. Those dark moments- those moving curtains- those droopy eyes- pages flying around- time seemed to stop- yet everything was moving. How ironic, huh! He closed his eyes for the first time in ages. Walls were cracking- or were they? He got up- eyes closed- walked towards the voices- yeah there were voices in that room- voices within the silence that had engulfed the room. He felt the surrounding waves in the air- he smelled the poignant smell emerging from the candle- he touched the walls around him- he tasted the salt in the breeze- he heard, felt, smelled, touched, tasted. But it was still something else- his sixth sense.

It was time- time to move on- time to gather himself up- time to feel life for a change- time to have quid pro quo with the monster within- time to give up had gone- it was time to fight- yet he felt weak- weaker than ever before. Back to normalcy- back to where he had wished he would never be- time to answer the calls- time to take responsibility- time to…

He opened his eyes- closed the doors, shut the windows, turned on the light- but wait… there was no electricity running in the circuits. A plane was landing somewhere near. He could hear the thundering sound that its engines were making- He thought about the people on board- then he stopped. He visualized himself sitting in a plane like that- traveling from his home to a place unknown to other men. He was afraid, afraid of people, afraid of conversations, afraid of confrontation, afraid of everything that this world had to offer. Yet he did not wish to die- Why would he want to die when it wasn’t his fault that he wanted all that? Or was it?

The dim light of the candle had just stopped fluttering- the world was not moving anymore- contradictions had been solved. Electrons were up and running again. Not in the circuits around his house, but rather in his own mind. It was working after all. Everything started to make sense now or did it. He turned his laptop on- logged on to yahoo- opened his inbox- checked his mails- and there it was. The answer to all his questions…

Dear Son,
I hope when you get this email, I would be dead…

His legs shivered- tears followed- time stopped again.

…I know you wanted me to never contact you. I know what I did to you was wrong, I know. Life is like that, my son. It’s not fair to us. It was never fair to me. That is fate. You can never be sure what’s going to hit you until it hits you. You must be wondering why I am mailing you at this time of my life. Well, to be honest, I don’t know myself. I regret the fact that I haven’t always been there for you. But I guess, it’s too late for that too. Nonetheless, I just wanted to apologize. I know you don’t have that bigger heart to forgive me… Let’s face it- After what I have done to you, if I would have been at your place, I would have killed me by now. But you did not, so I guess that, sort of, eases it out for me. It is, probably, the last time you are hearing anything from me. I want it to stay that way. From now onwards, I would be literally dead for you. Though I have been figuratively dead for you for years, but just wanted to request you something before I die. I know you’d not be willing to do that. But it is something I really want you to do it please. It’s my last wish that you come to my funeral. I want you to be there. Please son…
Your father.
23rd December, 2004.

Sixth sense- Huh!
He closed his laptop- opened the windows again- breathed a long breath.

The calendar on the wall showed-
27th December, 2004.