Twelve Monkeys

An excerpt from 12 Monkeys' screen play.



You think you can remove the grill but you can't. It's welded.


See? I toldja. And all the doors are locked, too. They're protecting the people on the outside from us. But the people outside are as crazy as us.


You know what "crazy" is? "crazy" is "majority rules". Take germs for example.


In the 18th century there was no such thing! Nobody'd ever imagined such a thing -- no sane person anyway. Along comes this doctor...Semmelweiss, I think. He tries to convince people... other doctors mostly...that there are these teeny tiny invisible "bad things" called germs that get into your body and make you...sick! He's trying to get doctors to wash their hands. What is this guy...crazy? Teeny tiny invisible whaddayou call 'em?..."germs"!


So cut to the 20th century! Last week in fact, right before I got dragged into this hellhole. I order a burger in this fast food joint. The waiter drops it on the floor. He picks it up, wipes it off, hands it to me...like it was all okay.


"What about the germs?" I say. He goes, "I don't believe in germs. Germs are just a plot they made up so they can sell you disinfectants and soap!" Now, he's crazy, right? Hey, you believe in germs, don't you?


Of course not, I never thought you were crazy. You want to escape, right? That's very sane. I can help you. You want me to, don't you? Get you out?


Why don't I escape, that's what you were going to ask me, right? 'Cause I'd be crazy to escape! I'm all taken care of, see? I've sent out word.


I've managed to contact certain underlings, evil spirits, secretaries of secretaries, and assorted minions, who will contact my father. When he learns I'm in this kind of place, he'll have them transfer me to one of those classy joints where they treat you...properly. LIKE A GUEST! LIKE A PERSON! SHEETS! TOWELS! LIKE A BIG HOTEL WITH GREAT DRUGS FOR THE NUT CASE LUNATIC MANIAC DEVILS...


Sorry. Really sorry. Got a little agitated. The thought of escaping crossed my mind and suddenly...suddenly I felt LIKE BENDING THE FUCKING BARS BACK, RIPPING OFF THE GODDAMN WINDOW FRAMES AND...EATING THEM, YES, EATING THEM, AND LEAPING, LEAPING...


You dumb assholes! I'm a mental patient! I'm supposed to act out. Wait til you morons find out who I am. My father's gonna be really upset. AND WHEN MY FATHER GETS UPSET, THE GROUND SHAKES! MY FATHER IS GOD! I WORSHIP MY FATHER.


Torture! Experiments! We're all monkeys.